Garishly-Decorated Hallway                             -      #      - 
(-------------------------------------------------)     W <---(M)---> E
                                                        -      #      -

This is a rather overly-decorated, dimly-lit hallway leading to the west.
To the east, you see the top of a red carpeted staircase leading down. 
Intricate decorations done in shiny gold and silver paint trail the
footboards along the walls, the rest of which are draped in heavy,
royal-blue velvet fabric.  You can hear faint giggles and muffled whispers
from behind the doors to your north and south.  
Wait a minute, why is that beaver snarling?